


Shadows and Sheets

by crystaltear (Heartensoul)



Category: Kyou Kara Maou!
Genre: M/M, One-Sided Relationship, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-20
Updated: 2013-08-10
Packaged: 2017-12-20 18:25:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 14,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/890425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heartensoul/pseuds/crystaltear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set eight years after the end of season 2. Little has changed about Shibuya Yuuri other than the effects of Time and the lessons It has taught him. Yuuri has grown up, and he has learned how to compromise. He has also learned the different ways in which a person can compromise; what he himself has come to compromise and why. This is a story about choices.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Eight Years Later

**Author's Note:**

> This story is complete. I will be posting new sections of it every few days.
> 
> Structure of the story: This story is made up in a structure that has two parts. One is the normal chapter format. The second is a flashback. How will you know the difference?
> 
> Chapter = normal text, lengthy.  
> Flashback = italicized text, usually short. They are very important!
> 
> This whole story is written in the third person omniscient, but from Yuuri’s perspective only. So, Conrad and Wolfram’s thoughts are only revealed when they talk; all other times they are only Yuuri’s assumptions on their thoughts. 
> 
>  
> 
> Warning: I haven't seen the third season, so this ignores any information that may have come from it.

Eight years have passed since Shibuya Yuuri's first arrival at Shin Makoku, and in that time, relatively little has changed about the young king. He is--of course--not quite so young anymore, his Earthian link allowing him to sprout up to full height well before his 90th birthday; his youthful, round features have given way for the sharper image of a man in his prime. His hair falls a little closer to his shoulder, though not as long as the Maou persona of his youth. That persona is long gone now, having made a successful merge with the person it always was--just another facet of the young king--and Yuuri wields that same power as before, just with more efficiency. 

Shibuya Yuuri still loves baseball, although not in the obsessive way he once adored it as a child. He's still not particularly eloquent in comparison to other leaders, but he does his best and has even willingly learned the customs and history necessary to be a fruitful leader. He is still an idealist in the sense that he wishes for peace and works hard to achieve it everyday, but he is also aware that there are people who will never be swayed, people who just want hardships to exist even if they may not be evil themselves. He has learned to fight for this ideal of his, but now knows fighting blindly is fighting foolishly.

Little has changed about Shibuya Yuuri other than the effects of Time and the lessons It has taught him. Yuuri has grown up, and he has learned how to compromise. He has also learned the different ways in which a person can compromise; what he himself has come to compromise and why.

This is a story about choices.


	2. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is made up in a structure that has two parts. One is the normal chapter format. The second is a flashback. How will you know the difference?
> 
> Chapter = normal text, often lengthy (thought that's not the case with chapter one.)  
> Flashback = italicized text, usually short. They are very important!
> 
> This whole story is written in the third person omniscient, but from Yuuri’s perspective only. So, Conrad and Wolfram’s thoughts are only revealed when they talk; all other times they are only Yuuri’s assumptions on their thoughts.

Under normal circumstances, the Maou of Shin Makoku is found in his office after dinner finishing the last of the day’s paperwork--a treaty, a proposal, an inventory, perhaps even a love letter someone allows to slip by the first check of paperwork due to their own amusement. Usually, this process takes between three and five hours depending on the content and importance of the night’s pile, a fact that often makes the young Maou wish he were quicker at reading things. Sometimes, he receives help from one of his advisors and it speeds up the process, but nevertheless, there is rarely a day that Yuuri cannot be found at his desk until well into the night.

On this night, however, the stack is abandoned in the empty room and all notes of importance are being forwarded to the desk of Gwendal von Voltaire, much to the senior advisor’s annoyance; he thought he had been done with doing this sort of paperwork years ago. It is now he that remains up well into the late evening when he would much rather be knitting the sweater he has been working on.

Meanwhile, the Maou can be found in his room, crouched over a box of clothes and looking rather perplexed.

“I’m not sure if these are going to fit me,” he mutters, holding up a shirt he had worn while in high school. “I probably should have sent word for my mother to buy some new clothes.”

There is a snort from behind him. “I’m sure your mother would have picked out some beautiful dresses for you.”

Yuuri turns his head and grins at his fiancée. “I suppose you’re right. But then I wouldn’t have to worry about a gift for Greta.”

Wolfram is sitting up in bed, not looking particularly pleased despite Yuuri’s early retirement for the night. He ‘hmphs’ in response, and Yuuri knows his last night in Shin Makoku is not likely to be a pleasant one. As if on cue, Wolfram opens his mouth to speak, and Yuuri knows what is coming. Again.

“Explain to me again why Conrad is going with you if you absolutely insist on going alone this time?”

Yuuri tries his best not to look as exasperated as he feels about having to justify his only vacation in over two years, even if he does understand Wolfram’s point. He stands up and leaves the box where it is; it seems he’ll have to go shopping his first day back in Japan. “And again, it’s because certain people insist I have a babysitter wherever I go. Conrad gets to go because he knows Earth customs so I don’t have to worry about him getting into trouble while there.”

“I’ve learned Earth’s customs over the past couple of years!”

Yuuri allows his face to reflect his annoyance. “The point is for me to relax. I can send Conrad off and not feel anxious about him going on his own. I can’t do that with you, Wolfram.”

He yawns, as if to stress his weariness on both counts, and slides under the sheets beside his bed partner. He hopes the conversation will conclude soon; he hates arguing with Wolfram and would much prefer a quiet evening to start his respite on a good note.

Wolfram, it seems, is also in the mood for quiet. He heaves a sigh, and Yuuri knows he has given up--for the time being.

“Will you say hello to your parents for me?”

Yuuri’s face softens and he smiles at Wolfram, his annoyance quickly forgotten. “Of course I will.”

Wolfram scoots down on the mattress and into the covers, admitting his defeat as gracefully as he can manage. Yuuri knows he won’t hear another word from him until his anger has receded, which is likely to be sometime after his return. A very large part of him feels guilty, not just about Wolfram but for leaving for so long. But he needs this. Needs to get away and capture even just a brief gasp of normal life again, needs to relieve himself of the tension constantly knotting in his chest. Ideally, he would be going without Conrad. But Yuuri doesn’t expect ideal anymore, so he will make the best of it. 

The most important thing is that starting the next day, he gets to be Shibuya Yuuri again. For one week, and one week only. 

One whole week without policies, politics, and playing pretend.


	3. Yuuri on Wolfram [FLASHBACK]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a flashback.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Structure of the story: This story is made up in a structure that has two parts. One is the normal chapter format. The second is a flashback. How will you know the difference?
> 
> Chapter = normal text, lengthy.  
> Flashback = italicized text, usually short. They are very important!
> 
> This whole story is written in the third person omniscient, but from Yuuri’s perspective only. So, Conrad and Wolfram’s thoughts are only revealed when they talk; all other times they are only Yuuri’s assumptions on their thoughts.
> 
>  
> 
> Warning: I haven't seen the third season, so this ignores any information that may have come from it.

_Wolfram’s stance is at ease while he easily deflects the amateur strikes his daughter is sending at him. At Greta’s request, Wolfram is teaching her how to fight with a sword--not for battle, but for the responsibility that comes with the lesson of wielding a sword. Wielding a sword properly is having the ability to protect something important, a desire Greta has inherited from all of the people she holds dear. Her father is patient and careful, but does not baby her because he respects her wishes._

_Yuuri is watching from the foyer, now a better swordsman than in his youth but of no use as a trainer. He prefers to watch anyway, enjoying the feeling he gets when watching his unique little family. He knows Greta is growing up far too quickly for either his or Wolfram’s liking, and that there is little they can do other than make sure she receives all the care and attention she could want. Wolfram is good with her, much better than Yuuri thinks himself to be, because he is very good at molding to her needs without being too soft-hearted._

_He watches for a few more moments in quiet contentment, a small warmth settling in his chest. Then he steps out into the court announcing lunch, and is rewarded with two smiles, one beaming and one more reserved, but smiles all the same._

_The three of them walk into the castle in unison, parting ways only when Greta decides to clean herself up before eating. She leaves her two fathers, and in her absence they talk of her progress and her growth, because it is easy and enjoyable to talk of a mutual love._

_When Greta reunites with them at the table, the trio is complete once again. It is just them that day, the others away on business, and Yuuri relishes in having a meal where business can be avoided. Yuuri asks Greta about her studies and leads the conversation into a topic he enjoys hearing about endlessly, and he is pleased when Wolfram follows his lead._

_They spend the quiet afternoon in this way, speaking on normal topics as any normal family would. They warmth in Yuuri’s chest multiplies as he focuses on his daughter and thinks of her achievements._

_Like this, he thinks, he could be okay. They could be okay._

_But when Greta is gone for the night, the warmth unsettles from its place just a bit, a little piece of incompleteness forming a bubble in his chest. Wolfram helps Yuuri with a bit of paperwork, voicing his opinions and offerings of support where need be, and they talk with the ease of familiarity and companionship, and an honesty that has always been firm between them since the day of their first meeting. They are honest with each other in all respects, able to do so because honesty and avoidance are not mutually exclusive._

_What Yuuri loves about Wolfram is that despite his all fronts, he has never had any expectations of Yuuri. Harsh words that he had regarded as insults in the past have been recognized as merely cries for attention, and with time Yuuri has found in his fiancée a calming presence despite the blonde’s personality. Wolfram has never changed, and he likely never will. With Wolfram, beyond all the huff and puff there is no pressure, because he has always accepted Yuuri for who he is, and loves him all the same. To this day, Wolfram accepts him, accepts them, taking what Yuuri offers and not trying to take what the rest of the world knows is owed to him._

_Wolfram accepts what is given to him and is glad for it, on all accounts. He accepts without complaint as he initiates love-making that night and plays the part Yuuri knows is supposed to be assigned for himself. Wolfram leads, enduring the compromise the two have come to in the span of their long engagement._

_The warmth, the feeling of contentment, however imperfect, could be maintained so long as they put forth enough effort._

_As they finally settle into silence and the beginnings of slumber, Yuuri presses a hand to his chest, willing the warmth to lodge into his feelings, his soul. It obeys, nestled against the spot where Wolfram’s cheek is resting on his chest, and he feels a temporary relief._

_But the feeling is flickering, and he does not know how long he will be able to keep it kindled._


	4. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Conrad go to Earth. Plenty of world-building in this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: I’m trying to avoid using Japanese terms as much as possible because I think it’s a bit lame for someone to add them in a fic, but when it comes to some terms I really don’t feel I have a choice. If I do use Japanese terms, there will be a key.
> 
> This chapter: Onii-chan refers to an older brother or older brother figure. Yuuri has only called Conrad by this name once in the anime and once in a radio drama.
> 
> \-----
> 
> Structure of the story: This story is made up in a structure that has two parts. One is the normal chapter format. The second is a flashback. How will you know the difference?
> 
> Chapter = normal text, lengthy.  
> Flashback = italicized text, usually short. They are very important!
> 
> This whole story is written in the third person omniscient, but from Yuuri’s perspective only. So, Conrad and Wolfram’s thoughts are only revealed when they talk; all other times they are only Yuuri’s assumptions on their thoughts.

The following morning, Yuuri is up and dressed before Wolfram begins to stir. Night is barely making its exit on the sun’s stage as the king steps out in the court and begins his jog. His sneakers are well-worn and slap rather pitifully against the ground, leaving Yuuri with one more mental notation of things that must be done while back on Earth. In many ways the trip is built just as much on necessity of practicality as it is for sanity.

As he turns a corner in his usual route he sees Conrad going through drills with his men; apparently Conrad wants to get one last session in before his departure. Some of the younger and newer recruits look absolutely haggard, no doubt a result of the early hour. Their captain carries on, awake and alert as always and not seeming to notice many of his men’s incredulous stares, but Yuuri knows that Conrad is enjoying himself; inside he is having a good chuckle on his men’s behalf. 

The men stand attention as he jogs through, and he carries on past them with only a nod in their direction. He has no desire to be a distraction to the new recruits, who are still not used to his daily passing. Conrad does not take his eyes away from his men and gives no indication at all that he’s aware of Yuuri, but Yuuri knows better when it comes to that, too.

Conrad is always watching over him, even when it seems he isn’t.

He finishes his run shortly after and heads for his private bath. Afterward he dresses and moves to the kitchen to grab something to eat, where he is scolded by the head chef as usual--a very outspoken brunette with a physique much like Yozak’s except she is all woman. Over the years, Hilda (which is her name) promoted herself to Yuuri’s nutritionist as well as his personal cook, and is constantly on his case about his sporadic eating hours and poor eating habits. While the last thing Yuuri needs is one more person being critical of him, Hilda’s criticism always comes with an abundance of her best made dishes, often brought directly to his office while he works, so Yuuri more than welcomes the motherly attention.

“You had better make sure to eat while away, Your Majesty. I will not have you withering away on me!” Hilda warns while wagging her finger in Yuuri’s face.

Following their usual routine, Yuuri gives her an innocent grin and raises his arms in front of him to show defeat. “I promise, Hilda. My mother is probably going to stuff me to the point where I may have to be rolled back here.”

“Perhaps I should have put in more training for myself if I’ll have to carry you back in such a state,” Conrad’s voice travels into the room, and Yuuri turns to see the soldier entering.

Hilda gives a hearty laugh and waves her hand. “Ah, you are going, too? Then I have no worries. He always takes good care of you, yes?”

Yuuri can feel his face growing warm and hopes there is no hint of a blush. He smiles at Conrad, because there is nothing he can do if he is turning red, anyway. “Yes, always.”

Hilda shoos them from the kitchen and soon she comes out with two sets of rice and miso soup for them, much to Yuuri’s delight. Over the years he has acquired some simple Japanese recipes and Hilda has always delivered in making them just perfect. With such a wonderful cook, there is only one dish in the whole universe that Yuuri longs for: His mother’s curry. It is the one dish that he will never allow to be replicated, so that he always has to go home for it.

“If you don’t mind, I’ll have to do a bit of clothes shopping once we get to Earth,” Yuuri says to Conrad between bites.

“Or course. I’ll probably pick some up as well. I’m sure Shouri will not be as willing to share his wardrobe as he has in the past.”

“I’m not sure if ‘willing’ is the right word,” Yuuri chuckles. “But you’re right, we’re not going to have direct access to his closet this time. He’s only going to be at the house for a day or two, and we’ll be staying at the hotel anyway.”

Shibuya Shouri and his wife were going to be at the senior Shibuya residence for a maximum of two days before going off on a business trip for three weeks. While away, their twin daughters, Momoko and Nanako, would be staying with their grandparents (much to the utter delight of their grandmother.) The timing of the trip and Yuuri’s visit left the senior Shibuya home with cramped accommodations and Yuuri with little choice but to reserve a hotel room for him and Conrad a few miles from his home.

He knows there was not much of a choice, but even when he had overly stressed the need for Bob to reserve two double beds for the room, panic had begun to coil around his stomach. He would just have to make the best of it.

They finish their meal in silence and Hilda comes to take the dishes away. Conrad stands, his military stance still apparent even in his civilian clothes. “Are you ready to go, Your Majesty?”

Yuuri stands as well, leaning over the table and sending as serious a glare as he can manage in Conrad’s direction. “Yes. But I don’t want to have to tell you even once while we’re there not to call me that. It pisses me off.”

“Of course, Yuuri.” Conrad smiles, but Yuuri only sighs in response. No matter how hard he tries he cannot seem to get Conrad to drop the title. He knows there are certain regulations a soldier should follow, but he also knows the king’s order overrules tradition. Of course, Yuuri has never ordered Conrad to call him by name; he refuses to, and that’s just the problem. But he won’t do that, so he’s just going to have to keep nagging about it, even if it takes him until his dying day.

Each man collects his small bag of necessities and then they meet in the courtyard of Shinou’s temple. The fountain has become Yuuri’s main spot for travel although he can still get to Earth through any source of water. He concentrates on visualizing the small fountain he had built in his parents’ backyard years before (it was much more convenient than showing up in some random pond, for sure.) With their destination clear in his mind, Yuuri grasps Conrad’s hand tightly and allows the water surrounding their feet to pull them in.

They emerge in the backyard of Yuuri’s childhood soaking wet, which is to be expected but Yuuri always has to remind himself that traveling through water has to be better than most of the other elements (especially fire.) He is just about to begin giving himself that mental pep talk once again when the heated water of the fountain chills against his skin and his eyes take in the ice that has collected around the rim of the fountain.

“Uwahhhh!”

The frozen air assaults his skin like a million needles, the clothes that are sticking to him only making the cold worse. He jumps out of the fountain and dashes through the snow-laden yard to the back steps, his bare feet quickly turning red and throbbing in protest.

“Argh, let us in let us in!” he shouts while smacking his fist against the door. Conrad is beside him in another second, not frantic but otherwise much in the same state. A minute passes and he sees a shiver pass through Conrad’s body through the corner of his eye. He bangs on the glass again.

“We’re going to die out here!” 

Screw traveling through water, especially when it’s the month of February in Japan.

\---------

An hour later Yuuri finds himself wrapped in a very fluffy towel and sitting on the couch with a plate of his mother’s curry in front of him. Needless to say, he is in heaven. Almost catching hypothermia was well worth this.

He can hear the low rumble of Conrad’s voice through the kitchen door and his mother’s delighted giggles in response while they do the dishes together. When Shouri and his small tribe enter the house in a flurry of bags and noise, Conrad and his mother retreat from the kitchen and his father comes out of the den. The small house is suddenly packed to capacity, and it is only by chance that Yuuri catches sight of Conrad removing his apron and tossing on his father’s winter jacket. He finishes hugging both twins and kissing his sister-in-law in greeting before intercepting Conrad at the front door.

“Where are you going?” He is standing between Conrad and the open doorway with the cold air creeping up his back.

“I thought I’d go pick up my new ID from Jose and then get some clothes for us.”

“Well just wait a couple of minutes and I’ll come with you. You don’t have to hurry out like that you know.”

“Yuuri, coming here is for you to relax and get away from Shin Makoku,” Conrad reasons while he pulls Yuuri in from the cold. He pushes the door closed a bit, but only enough to keep the draft out.

“But--”

“Go spend time with your family.”

Yuuri opens his mouth to say what comes immediately to his mind, but he pauses, thinking better of it. He has almost said something very dangerous.

“What are you talking about, Onii-chan?” he retorts with a smile, resorting to using a term of endearment for Conrad he is not fond of, but one which does a good job of putting distance between them when he feels the need. “You’re part of my family.”

“Yuuri.” And Conrad is giving him that look, the one that falls somewhere between sadness and resignation, and Yuuri has no choice but to fold.

“Okay. But wait a minute.”

He hurries away, and a moment later comes back with a cell phone in hand. “The house number and my cell number are programmed in it, so take it. If you get into any trouble call me.” 

He hands Conrad the phone and will not allow him to leave until the electronic is safely tucked into his jacket pocket. He watches reluctantly as Conrad walks down the walkway and into the snow; despite what he had said to Wolfram, the last thing he wants to do is send Conrad on his own--but it seems he doesn’t have a choice.

As he closes the door, Shouri enters the room looking enraged.

“That’s my cell phone!”

\------

Yuuri leaves the Shibuya household an hour after his mother tucks the twins into bed, knowing that everyone else will be settling in for the night shortly after. Shouri and his wife will be staying one more day and then they would be off. This would put a little more room in the house, but when Yuuri had seen his mother had converted his old room into one fit for the girls (or perhaps just the way she had always wanted to decorate his room,) he became resigned to the fact that he would be spending his nights on Earth in a hotel room with Conrad.

He takes a taxi and finds that Bob has gone overboard with his accommodations for their hotel, but he doesn’t have the heart to complain. The desk informs him Conrad has already checked in, much to his relief. Yuuri adjusts the number of nights for their stay and gets his own key. 

The room is dark when he enters with his and Conrad’s belongings, but he can see the outline of Conrad’s body in the bed nearest the door. He makes a face of annoyance--Conrad has likely settled in to avoid Yuuri’s insistence that tomorrow he is to stay, he just knows it. He has half a mind to shake the man and insist on talking about it, but then the bags of merchandise that are sitting on his bed come into focus, and he deflates. Conrad has played the role of servant once again, when all Yuuri wants is for him to stay by his side. Why was that so hard to understand?

Sighing, he places the bags down on the floor, not bothering to look. He already knows what will be there: Clothes, new sneakers--all the right colors and sizes, the ones he likes and ones which look best on him, as well as anything else they may have forgotten in Shin Makoku that Conrad noticed. He does not even have to look to know the small fridge is stocked, the room has been searched, and that everything is in order. As usual, Conrad has everything under control, and it is equal parts heart-warming and frustrating.

He caves, his annoyance forgotten and any plans to wake Conrad abandoned. He collects sleep pants from his own bag and frowns, realizing that Conrad did not have his own things when he had gone to sleep. He squashes the beginning of any thoughts on Conrad’s state of dress by recalling some of the Shin Makoku laws that are up for review and possible renewal when he returns. With those in his mind, he changes his clothes and settles into his own bed, making sure he faces the window. 

\--------

He is tossing around in his sheets, and he’s sure it’s probably disturbing the room’s other occupant. Of course, the other occupant is disturbing _him_ , but that’s not Conrad’s fault. The closeness of the room is suddenly all too close, and it makes Yuuri realize he has never shared a room with Conrad before.

He grunts, frustrated with himself. So much for relaxing; the pressure in his chest is making the room warm and sticky, making it hard to breathe.

Giving in, he throws the covers aside and sits at the edge of his mattress. In the dark, he can see Conrad’s face is toward him, but cannot see if he is looking at him. He takes the single step that separates his bed from Conrad’s and lies down. He does not pull the covers down, but he curls up against the sheets molded against Conrad’s body.

“Please,” he pleads, his voice muffled in the sheets. “I won’t do anything, just let me lay here.”

He feels foolish and like a child, but at the same time not like a child at all. As a child he could have done this without feeling this guilt, because there would have been nothing to feel guilty about.

“Yuuri.”

He can hear Conrad calling him, but he doesn’t look up.

He doesn’t want to see it.


	5. Yuuri on Conrad [Flashback]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a flashback.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Structure of the story: This story is made up in a structure that has two parts. One is the normal chapter format. The second is a flashback. How will you know the difference?
> 
> Chapter = normal text, lengthy.  
>  Flashback = italicized text, usually short. They are very important!
> 
> This whole story is written in the third person omniscient, but from Yuuri’s perspective only. So, Conrad and Wolfram’s thoughts are only revealed when they talk; all other times they are only Yuuri’s assumptions on their thoughts.
> 
>  
> 
> Warning: I haven't seen the third season, so this ignores any information that may have come from it.

_Conrad is away, and Yuuri takes small trips to try relieving the pressure building in his chest. He stands behind home plate in his baseball field--the field he no longer has time to visit on his own or with his favorite pitcher--but the feeling of nostalgia adds rather than relieves the pain. He passes by Conrad’s room and presses his hand against the door, but the room no longer holds the comfort it once did. Yuuri does not step inside; he returns to work with the weight still heavy in his chest._

_The days pass at an agonizing speed and soon enough the skies yield to Yuuri’s mood, clouds collecting for a slight but steady precipitation. Three days more than anticipated pass, and the rain halts as the tendrils of apprehensiveness sprout within him._

_On the fourth day Conrad finally appears, lacking his beloved horse but unharmed. He returns to his duties immediately, no weariness in his form, no pause in his diligence. Yuuri, feeling slightly chastised, continues as usual for the remainder of the day._

_Conrad, however unconsciously, has always had expectations for Yuuri. Yuuri knows this, has always known this from the first and only look of disappointment that passed over Conrad’s face when he failed to retrieve Morgif. Yuuri has, as Conrad has--they, as a team have--kept those expectations alive. As a king, Yuuri has succeeded in meeting those expectations._

_Later that night, as Yuuri clutches Conrad’s uniform, he buries his face in the crook of Conrad’s neck and closes his eyes. He refuses to look, afraid to see that disappointment again. As Conrad’s king he has triumphed; as the man who should become Conrad’s younger brother through a marriage that will never come, he is failing._

_With the contact of Conrad’s warmth against his hands and his scent enveloping his nostrils, the pain in Yuuri’s chest recedes, and Yuuri feels a temporary relief._

_But the feeling is building, and he does not know how long he will be able to keep it at bay._


	6. Chapter Three

He wakes in the morning with the sun shining in his eyes and he shifts to avoid the assault. His face buries itself against hard flesh, and immediately he recalls where he is at. Earth. Hotel. Bed. Conrad. His face flushes in embarrassment at what an idiot he had been the night before, but he still cannot manage to move his face from Conrad’s bare shoulder. He breathes--one, two--and allows his nose to slide along the depression lying between Conrad’s shoulder and breastbone. He can smell the bit of salty sweat that has accumulated during the night and feel the slightly risen skin of a scar pressed against his cheek. He drags his face ever so slowly, so lightly, across the stretch of skin until his dry lips are against that scar, whispering the slightest open-mouthed kiss upon it. Before he thinks, the tip of his tongue darts out and follows the path of the scar’s creation. Yuuri can taste and smell salt and sweat and Conrad, and feels warmth simmering in his belly and traveling further until it collects into of point of hardening. His tongue retreats, satisfied for now, and although the rest of him is not as satisfied, he is glad at least he can blame it on the circumstances of morning and being a man if he needs to.

He tries to unfocus, and returns to sleep.

\------

When he wakes again, he is not only alone in the bed but in the room as well. Again, Conrad has won the unspoken battle between them. Accepting his temporary defeat, Yuuri drags himself out of the bed and readies himself for the day.

He returns to his home in time for lunch, and after eating, his family does what any normal family does when gathering: they eat some more, they sit around the television, they talk about nothing, they drag out old traditions that horrify Yuuri no less than they did when he was a child. He learns the hard way that his mother’s frightening habits have been passed on to his nieces at a young and impressionable age. It takes the two young girls and Shouri to tackle Yuuri and pin him helplessly to the ground, making him stare into eager young faces until he has to give in to their diabolical plot.

Thirty minutes and lot of female products later, Yuuri looks like a clown and smells much like a French whore house. As Momoko sets the finishing touches to curling one of the pigtails in his hair, Yuuri begins to question his own sanity. What the hell is with everyone trying to turn him into a girl his whole life? Does he really look like a girl? He doesn’t think so, but everyone else seems to!

“It suits you, Yuu-chan,” Shouri mocks his younger brother once Momoko and Nanako have gone off with their grandmother to find the dreaded camera. 

“Oh yeah? Well, once I get this stuff off, I’m going to kick your ass in a video game to pay you back,” Yuuri retorts.

The girls run back inside, a camera in Nanako hand, and Yuuri glares at Shouri’s smile of triumph: game following or not, Shouri has come out the victor for the night.

In the midst of the battle of Smash Brothers Brawl with Shouri (the one he is losing pretty well,) he thinks upon his current feelings in confusion. He is twenty-four years old-- young in both the eyes of Earth and Mazoku standards alike--sitting Indian-style on the floor playing a video game with his brother. For his age group, this is normal, expected, encouraged to some extent. So why does it feel so out of place? The presence of his family feels familiar to him, but the actions he is partaking, the ones of a young man of Earth, no longer feel natural. When had what had once been normal started being so strange?

Or rather, when did what feels normal change? 

\------

To Yuuri’s surprise, Conrad shows up just in time for dinner, mysterious bag in hand, and his first comment makes Yuuri bristle ever so slightly.

“My, don’t you look lovely.”

He wipes his cheek tenderly at what Yuuri guesses to be left over rouge, and Yuuri feels as though he has captured a fever while he waits for Conrad to finish.

“You’re not being a very good babysitter,” Yuuri remarks, unable to come up with anything else to say.

“You can handle yourself just fine, especially here.”

“I need more saving here than any place else,” Yuuri whines miserably, and for a couple of minutes he feels like his old self again: fifteen, awkward and moody, feeling exasperated by his mother’s endless attempts to put him back in a dress. “They’re trying to make me a cross-dresser!”

Conrad is laughing aloud now, as he seems to always do when it comes to the heart-warming antics of the Shibuya family. He does not refuse this time when he is invited to stay, and dinner is filled with the usual: Jennifer fangirling Conrad, Conrad and Shoma laughing, and Shouri glowering because it seems his wife and daughters have joined the unofficial Weller fan club.

They leave after Conrad goes through his tradition of helping Jennifer clean up and Yuuri has said goodbye to Shouri. As the Maou of Earth, business affairs give Shouri more frequent contact with Yuuri than anyone else on Earth, so their farewells are light-hearted, so long as you don’t count Yuuri’s threat to corrupt his brother’s precious daughters in his absence. Rather than take a taxi to the hotel, Conrad suggests they walk the thirty minute distance, and Yuuri agrees. 

The air is growing more chilled by the minute as the sun dips below the horizon line and dusk begins to settle in. They follow a well-worn path through the town and pass the school yard, Yuuri’s feet carrying him easily through the trail of his childhood memories. Before long the baseball field lies before them, abandoned in the winter darkness and patiently awaiting its next opportunity to grant a child’s happiness with the rattling of the wire fence or the dust cloud of a home run slide.

Wordlessly, the two men go to the locked entrance, capture the fence in their fingertips and begin to climb, carrying themselves over to the other side and into the outfield. The frozen grass crunches under their feet as they walk and their breath releases in small puffs of white air. Yuuri turns, but just a moment too late: a mitt collides with the side of his head, and he laughs aloud as he catches the mitt clumsily in his fingertips. Conrad is smiling, making a display of waving and folding his own glove in his hand, as if to say ‘you have to be ready.’ 

“Thank you,” Yuuri says simply, and then they are tossing the ball in easy confidence, their old rhythm recaptured and the strain of recent awkwardness falling away with each catch of the ball. No matter what may happen between Conrad and him now or later, they will always have this.

“How is the team doing, by the way?” Yuuri asks. Yuuri’s baseball team in Shin Makoku had been doing well the last time he had checked, but that had been months ago. As the sport traveled to different countries and new teams were being formed, leagues and competitions were being held with more frequency, and Shin Makoku had been holding the lead most of the time due to their obvious advantages: more years of practice and experienced people coaching. Conrad had been known to keep an eye on things, and was likely responsible for the sweep of popularity of baseball throughout many nations. It makes Yuuri feel guilty--it is just one more thing sitting on Conrad’s shoulders.

“Top of the league, of course. Although, Caloria is becoming very good; they may start giving us a run for our money. Before you know it, it might be a rivalry much like the Red Sox and the Yankees.”

“I don’t want to be compared to the Yankees,” Yuuri sniffs in distaste, contorting his face as though he is in pain. “But I’m glad it’s Caloria. Competition between us won’t get too out of hand.”

“I agree,” Conrad nods, his smile relaxing into an expression of seriousness. “We might have some problems with Dai Shimaron and Shou Shimaron if they ever manage to get their teams in order.”

“I don’t know about problems so much...But if they need to get their aggression out, it’s better that it’s done through a game than by stirring up a war.” Yuuri tosses the ball in the air, twirling it a bit before sending it soaring in Conrad’s direction.

“It’s funny you should mention that.”

The ball falls, uncaught, in the dirt with a hard smack against the earth and then rolls to the edge of the in-field. Conrad and Yuuri both turn in the direction of the voice that just spoke up, their guard up now that the undetected person has revealed their presence. The figure steps out of the darkness by the dugout and into the dim light of the field, his glasses momentarily glinting against the light before sharp black eyes come into view.

As recognition sets in on the pair, Yuuri wonders how long he had been watching them--amused, no doubt.

“Murata.”

Murata Ken smiles in his usual fashion, a smile that is only about one-third friendliness, two thirds smugness, and all around mysterious.

“Shibuya.”


	7. Yuuri and Murata on Consequences [Flashback]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Murata on consequences, three years prior.

_“Shibuya.”_

_“I don’t know what to do,” Yuuri admits, his legs dangling from the knees down over the arm of the couch. On Earth, he feels freer; to think, to feel. He has been lying like this for the better part of an hour, unwilling to move. Moving feels like doing something decisive, and that is the last thing he wants at the moment._

_“You know what to do,” Murata supplies, all-knowing and while seeming sympathetic, stern in his rebuttal. “You need to make a choice.”_

_“How can I?” Yuuri knows he sounds like he is whining; this question is old, these thoughts well-worn in the path of his mind._

_Murata pushes his glasses up against the bridge of his nose, and looks up to meet Yuuri’s gaze. “You can do it because you already have. You know your choice. You also know the consequences that come with that choice. Now you just need to accept the consequences,” he diagnoses, and rises from his chair to make an anticipated exit._

_Yuuri watches Murata leave the room and wishes it was as easy as his friend makes it sound. Yes, he knows the consequences very well; he is willing to accept **his** consequences._

_He still cannot move._


	8. Yuuri on Conrad and Wolfram [Flashback]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback, approximately three years prior/around the same time as the Yuuri and Murata flashback.

_They are performing a menial task, but they must be enjoying themselves because they do not detect Yuuri’s arrival. Undisturbed by the intrusion Yuuri knows he would be, the scene continues while he watches in the shadows. Conrad and Wolfram are tending to their horses, both brushing in long strokes along their respective animal’s side. Conrad says something that is beyond Yuuri’s hearing, but Wolfram smiles in response to his older brother’s words and Yuuri smiles, too, reflexively._

_The interaction is so simplistic, but it has taken a long time to reach this point of such simple normalcy._

_Smile fading, Yuuri decides to remain in his well-kept shadows; his presence mars communication between them, always. He merely watches as, a short time later, they leave together to return to the castle._

_Yuuri cannot **move**._


	9. Chapter Four, Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is broken up into two parts, since I need a flashback in the middle. I know this part is short, sorry. I really struggled with what I wanted the boundaries (if any) to be with Conrad and Yuuri at this point of the story.

Murata leaves as soon as the message is conveyed to the pair. It is not dire, but there is reason for concern. The peace treaties between the two Shimaron kingdoms and Shin Makoku are up for renewal in the upcoming weeks, and already word is spreading that the king of Dai Shimaron is going to reject the renewal. As a result, Shin Makoku is on guard, not yet planning for immediate action but ensuring they are prepared for anything. While the new king of Dai Shimaron is nowhere near as reckless as Belal, he has shown he continues the trend of having no qualms with sacrificing some of his people to play a political game. 

But it is not a game Yuuri is willing to play with his own people or anyone else’s. He instructs Murata to ensure that Gwendal does not send any word to Dai Shimaron just yet. Yozak would be sent to gather as much information on the atmosphere as possible, and then return within a couple of days.

Yuuri calculates the time difference between Shin Makoku’s days and Earth’s and decides that he will be returning much earlier than anticipated. Returning to the castle two Earth days from then would bring him and Conrad back just in time for Yozak’s report. He would decide what to do from there, but there was a great chance that he would end up going to Dai Shimaron for some negotiations.

‘So much for baseball solving problems,’ he thinks grimly. He is lying on his stomach, randomly tapping out a soundless song against his pillow while he thinks of different things. Beside him, Conrad is sitting with his back against the headboard, eyes intent on a book. His elbows are beginning to ache in protest from supporting his weight, but he thinks lying down completely will somehow be an invasion of Conrad’s bed. Of course, last night was easily considered an invasion of that very same space, but Yuuri is now visibly awake so excuses are no longer reliable. So he continues to let his arms support his upper body weight while his mind flits though different things.

“Hey, Conrad?” he finally speaks, taking the opportunity to shift his weight onto one arm as he turns to his protector. “If I ask you something, do you promise to answer honestly?”

“Of course, Yuuri.” The book is laid aside, quickly forgotten.

Yuuri pauses, feeling a little embarrassed. But his has to know. “Do I look like a girl?”

Conrad suddenly bursts into laughter, as he is apt to do at the strangest times. Yuuri is really not impressed with the man’s sense of humor.

“Oi, don’t laugh! Of course I’m going to ask when everyone keeps trying to dress me as a girl!”

But Conrad continues to laugh, and in an unguarded, unthinking moment, Yuuri is pushing himself up, his palm against Conrad’s clothed chest. He dips his face down to allow his eyes to meet Conrad’s laughing ones.

“I’m serious,” he croaks.

Conrad stops, but is still smiling as he brings his palm up to Yuuri’s cheek. “Of course you don’t. Just look at you.”

At the contact, Yuuri becomes aware of what he has done. He knows he should pull away now, return to his bed and go to sleep. Instead he tilts his head into Conrad’s touch, finding comfort in the palm cupped against his warmed skin. “I don’t know what to do,” he admits, and this could be his response to any number of things on his mind.

“You will do what is best, as you always do.” He opens his eyes at the sound of Conrad’s voice, soft and sure. Conrad’s other palm comes to rest upon the untouched side of Yuuri’s face and together they guide and tip until Yuuri feels Conrad’s lips against his own. It comes as sweet assurance, because although this kiss is one of comfort, it reminds Yuuri that his feelings are not misplaced, for naught, or unreciprocated.

Conrad does not move again until Yuuri responds and deepens the kiss. He acknowledges Yuuri as the one to call each move as it is made; the Maou is, after all, the one who has made the self-inflicted rules for them. They are silly to even Yuuri himself--cheating is cheating be it through a thought, kiss or copulation--yet he tries to justify it by stopping when there is much more to want.

The buttons on Conrad’s shirt are frustrating him, caused by his clumsiness rather than by any fault of theirs. The bottom button remains fastened when Yuuri has enough space to slide the garment down Conrad’s arms. It pools around Conrad’s hips and is forgotten as his fingertips touch welcomed planes of skin and muscle. He feels Conrad’s hands mimicking his actions on his own shirt, though it is a more graceful rendition of the same act. He is focusing on his discovery of that same scar from early that morning, his lips and tongue retracing the familiar path and extending up the length of Conrad’s neck. Conrad moans, a sound so slight and rare because of his own reservations that it drives Yuuri crazy when he manages to elicit it from the man’s lips. Encouraged, he presses on to the earlobe and circles around the outer rim of the ear.

“Yuuri.”

The voice is strained, and the hands that steady his hips are gripping too tightly to be a voluntary hold. Yuuri realizes that he has been grinding against Conrad, causing the desired friction that would lead to…the breaking of a rule. Yuuri drops his head into Conrad’s shoulder and listens to the erratic rhythm of their breathing.

After a few moments of steadying himself, Yuuri takes a deep breath and locks himself in the bathroom. The cold shower does nothing but enhance his misery, and it is a long time before he feels enough control to return to the room. 

He passes Conrad’s bed without a glance and slides into his own. He hates this and knows one day soon it will need to end, one way or the other. But for now he goes to sleep miserable and unsatisfied, yet without having broken either of his two rules.


	10. The Death of Young Yuuri and How Yearnings Come to Compromise [FLASHBACK]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a flashback chapter.

_When Yuuri realizes, finally, that he is in love with his retainer, he panics. The familiar stirrings of affection that Young Yuuri held for Conrad--that awe of strength, the comfort of support--is set aflame. The new feelings settle into an older Yuuri like an alien being, not entirely unwelcome but awkward. This want of a man who has known him since before birth, the acceptance of him, flaws and all, takes some getting used to. But once the feeling does settle into him, and he accepts it as not fleeting, not merely a curiosity, but indeed the real thing, he is determined to move forward._

_Their relationship, once so pure and platonic, alters quickly one evening when they are cleaning up some paperwork for the night. Yuuri’s four advisors had taken on days where they would assist the Maou with his work while the others carried on with their duties, and this night was Conrad’s. While the soldier works, Yuuri muses on Conrad’s behavior toward him, because he is still unsure. He thinks the feelings are returned; little by little Conrad has slipped into comfort with Yuuri, allowing Yuuri to see more of the man and less of the façade. But there is still no way of knowing for sure without action._

_He is thinking on how to figure that out when Conrad calls out to him, asking if he is ready to retire for the night. He hears the formal way that Conrad calls out to him-- **Your Majesty** \--as though he were just some soldier, some insignificant person and not **Conrad** , and it grates on his last nerve. He pushes the chair out with the back of his thighs while he arms propel him to his feet, and before he can think more on it he is walking around his desk and to where Conrad is standing, a pile of paperwork in his hands and a look of surprise across his face. The surprise intensifies when Yuuri wraps his arms around Conrad’s neck and places his mouth on Conrad’s. Two sets of open eyes stare at the other in wonder, wonder at what they are doing and that Yuuri does not need to stretch in any way to meet Conrad. The last of Young Yuuri grows silent and still._

_“What do you see, Conrad?” Yuuri asks when they break away. His heart is lurching out of the confines of his chest, and he can feel tension in the muscle of Conrad’s arm that has nothing to do with the now fallen papers. He knows Conrad understands the question, and only one answer will be acceptable. No other answer will allow them to proceed._

_“Yuuri,” Conrad sighs without pause, leaning forward to capture the younger man’s lips against his own again. Because there are no kings or past selves present, Yuuri responds without anymore hesitation._

_\-----------------_

_It is still without hesitation that Yuuri plans the following day. Come the morning, he tells Wolfram that he wishes to speak with him later that night and then sets off on his normal routine. He knows he is losing Wolfram, and the thought makes him pick at his food during breakfast and stare out his window through the afternoon. As always, his idealism wishes for harmony on all counts, but he knows Wolfram by now. An end to their relationship is an end to everything between them, and Yuuri only hopes that Wolfram will be willing enough to remain home._

_But as the day progresses, the plan begins to fall apart. He watches as Wolfram, already preparing for the worst it seems, is short-tempered and rigid when speaking with everyone he comes across. After consoling a sobbing Sangria and calming an infuriated Yozak, Yuuri checks his idealism at the door completely and hopes that when it is all over, Wolfram will focus his anger on him and spare everyone else._

_He is only a few feet away when Conrad has the misfortune of crossing paths with his younger brother. Conrad smiles politely and shuffles aside, and Yuuri sees it. It is not true yet, but Conrad’s eyes already reflect the loss of Wolfram. His plan falls to pieces: There is no way Yuuri will take Wolfram away from Conrad after all it has taken to close the chasm between them._

_That night, with his desk between them, Yuuri half-heartedly tells his fiancé that he has no plans to marry him. Wolfram is not happy to hear this, but says he is fine with how things are with them in the present._

_Defeated, Yuuri says nothing and leaves it at that._


	11. Chapter Four, Part II

Yuuri and Conrad are standing in the backyard of the Shibuya residence, waiting to hear the signal. Once the car can be heard driving away from the curb and it is guaranteed his nieces can no longer see their departure, Yuuri steps to the rim of fountain and begins thawing the thin layer of ice with his maryoku. Beside him, Conrad is carrying an expression that manages to show amusement and surprise.

“It was very kind of you to invite your mother and father to Shin Makoku. I thought you would never do it.”

Yuuri glares back at him. “That was the plan. And now my mother and your mother are going to meet. The world is doomed.” He sighs heavily, the impending headache of all the women in his life being in one world to conspire together already stressing him. But a compromise was in order to make up for his leaving early, and he knew this would make his mother happy. Really, he wasn’t sure why he hadn’t allowed her to visit sooner.

The mental image of Cheri and his mother laughing delightfully together appears, and he is reminded. It really will be the end of the world.

Bringing himself back to the present, he steps into the fountain with bare feet, shivering at the remaining chill. Conrad follows his example, stepping beside him without a sign of complaint about the cold. Yuuri studies him: the calm face, the lack of expression that gives anything but a false complacency. It frustrates him. He knows Conrad feels, yet he is always so intent on hiding everything.

His hand, still warmed from the flow of power, grasps Conrad’s and intertwines them from palms to fingertips. As the water begins to swirl at their feet to prepare them for their departure, Yuuri presses his lips to Conrad’s--one for the road, or however that saying goes.

“I’m sorry,” he says as he pulls away. He feels as though it is all he keeps saying, and all he will say for what seems like an endless eternity. He watches as Conrad does not smile as he usually does--instead, he brings Yuuri’s knuckles to his lips and stares back at him with calm eyes.

“I love you.”

And then they are traveling back, and Yuuri takes a mouthful of water in his surprise. He comes up sputtering in the temple fountain and looks over at Conrad just as he pulls his hand out of Yuuri’s grasp.

“Yozak just returned awhile ago. You can get the full report from him, but the suggestion is that you go speak with Dai Shimaron directly.”

Yuuri’s head snaps up to find Wolfram standing in front of them, already in his travel clothes. He offers his hand in assistance, and Yuuri stares at him dumbly. 

“Well, are you going to come out of there or not?” the blond lightly chides him, now offering the outstretched hand to his brother. Conrad takes it gratefully, stepping out of the fountain and taking the towel offered to him.

Yuuri stands up, feeling light-headed at the movement and this time grasping both hands that are offered to him in assistance. He shakes his head, clearing the excess water and shock and the noise of his inner monologue screaming about broken rules. Without thought, he glances at Conrad again, searching for any remnants of what had occurred moments before. But that person was left on the other side, and this Conrad has his complacent smile back in place as he steps back to walk behind Yuuri and Wolfram while they make their way toward the castle.

\----------

They part ways near the Great Hall, Conrad and Wolfram going to complete the travel arrangements to Dai Shimaron and Yuuri setting off to speak with Yozak. Yuuri hurries through a quick change of clothes, opting to put on one of his more comfortable traveling sets: He will have to change once they enter Shimaron waters into something more formal. He enters his work study to find Yozak already there waiting patiently and standing at attention.

“Please sit, Yozak, you don’t have to be so formal.”

The spy complies, sliding into the chair facing the Maou. The easy smile that also slides into place allows Yuuri to believe that the situation within Dai Shimaron is not as dire as he initially believed.

“I assume you’ve already reported to Gwendal?”

“Of course, Your Majesty. Dai Shimaron seems to be willingly circulating the rumor that they will not be renewing the peace treaty with Shin Makoku. This naturally is putting Shou Shimaron on edge, since they will be pressured to follow Dai Shimaron’s lead or risk an embargo on their exports.”

Yuuri nods. “That makes sense. What does Dai Shimaron want?”

“That was a little harder to confirm. It seems the king is looking for an increase in importation of Shin Makoku’s silver, but he may be looking for some territory as well. Either way, my suggestion based on the circumstances was that you meet in person with him. He’s seems arrogant about the matter, and a representative might be a little off-putting, if you know what I mean.”

Yuuri’s smirk matches Yozak’s. The last of the report interprets easily to the king: Gwendal, as the representative of Shin Makoku, was not going to be handing over a pebble to Dai Shimaron, diplomacy be damned. Yuuri going in person would appease the king’s pride while also serving as a warning that the Maou was not going to allow the peace treaty to fall on the wayside so easily.

“Thank you. I will take your suggestion and go in person.”

“Anytime, Your Majesty. I’m sorry your vacation had to be cut short because of it though.”

Yuuri glances down at his desk quickly and then curses himself for doing so. When he looks up again, Yozak is smirking knowingly. Damn.

“Were you not able to have a good time while you were there?” The man’s tone is teasing, and Yuuri scowls. He hates Yozak sometimes.

“It was fine.”

“Short-lived?”

“Very,” he admits, defeated. Yozak is somehow made from the same mold as Murata; there is no need to hide from them, because it would be fruitless fight. “But it doesn’t matter now.”

“No, I suppose not. I’m sure you know that there would be more than a few people who would be angry with both of you.”

“I’m sure you would be among them,” Yuuri bites back, and instantly regrets it. There is no need, in his mind, to mock those that understand the want of someone else. Especially of the same someone else.

“Oh no, I folded awhile ago in this game,” Yozak replies as he braces his arms against the back of his head. “You three can have fun doing circles around each other for as long as you want, I’ll watch from back here.”

“It’s not fun,” Yuuri whispers harshly. 

“No, I suppose not. Keeping things as they are will keep the peace and the Captain will stand aside without hesitation. You already know that though. Everyone knows that.”

He does know. The image of Conrad smiling at the fountain flashes in his mind, and he feels the weight of the pendent on his chest. Yes, of course he knows it. He can carry on, and Conrad can step aside, and Wolfram can keep pretending and they can dance around each other for eternity for the sake of keeping peace. But what were they really trying to salvage if everyone was miserable anyway?

Yozak stands and stretches, a sign that he is dismissing himself. “There’s always a price for peace,” he remarks, supposedly bringing the conversation back to Dai Shimaron. “And everyone has their share in it.”

“I’d rather be the only one paying it,” The Maou admits, flushing as though he as revealed a secret.

“Everyone knows.” Yozak concludes and he walks away with a wave. “But it’s not just your price to pay.”

The door shuts and Yuuri stares at it, a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as the conversation settles over him. The innocent words whisper through him like a thin sheet of ice, circling around his core has they repeat again their intended meaning. 

_Everyone knows._


	12. Yuuri and Murata on Avoidance [FLASHBACK]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This flashback takes place one Earth Year after Yuuri’s first arrival at Shin Makoku.

_Yuuri enters his living room, donned in his baseball uniform and holding his catcher’s mask in one hand and his cap in the other. He glances around for his friend who had just been there minutes before, huffing in agitation when the other boy does not come immediately into his line of sight._

_“I’m down here, Shibuya,” Murata Ken calls from an area near the television, and Yuuri glances over the back of the couch to find him sprawled across the couch with a magazine shoved in front of his face._

_“I didn’t realize your brother had a cat girl fetish,” his friend remarks nonchalantly. “Or perhaps your father…”_

_Yuuri focuses on the cover and with a shout of surprise he drops his mask and rips the magazine from Murata’s hand, sending the offending item to the ground where he feels it belongs._

_“Why is everyone around me so weird,” the boy king says once the magazine is out of sight, sitting on the couch arm next to Murata’s dangling feet. He thinks over turning on the television before he has to go to practice, but there simply isn’t enough time to get into a show. He pulls his sulking friend into conversation instead, trying to pull the though of Shouri’s stupid fetishes from both their minds._

_“How come you always come back to Earth with me? You can stay if you want, you know.”_

_Murata hums and crosses his arms behind his head, the picture of relaxation. “To keep you out of trouble, mostly. Also because I have a life to maintain here, one that thankfully doesn’t involve fixing the plumbing problem for the shrine maidens. And if I stayed I would have your fiancée nagging me endlessly about how you’re taking too long and to approximate when you would be back.”_

_The last part of the statement elicits a groan of frustration from Yuuri, who really does not want a reminder about Wolfram when he is about to go enjoy himself. “I get it.”_

_“Which reminds me, are you going to be letting him down gently soon? I can tell you from past experience, the von Bielefelds are not a patient bunch.”_

_Yuuri stares at him, aghast, his eyes going wide as though his friend has just suggested he go to baseball practice in a frilly tutu. “Are you crazy?” he sputters when he has enough air to form words. “He’ll chop my head off if I do that!”_

_“So you’re determined to stay with him then?”_

_“Ah..haha..not so much.” He looks around, making sure the coast is clear, despite there being no chance of Wolfram being there. He is wary of spies, after all. “Wolfram is a good guy and all, and he has a pretty face. But he’s a guy! And even if I was into guys, **which I’m not** , Wolfram’s too abrasive for my tastes.”_

_Now Murata is smirking in that way that annoys Yuuri. He knows he is being mocked now. “So you’re going to somehow convince him to call it off with you, I presume?”_

_“Who needs convincing? You hear him call me all those names and he gets angry at me no matter what I do. He’s bound to get tired of this whole thing soon. He’ll break it off, and no one’s feelings will get hurt!” he concludes, smiling and nodding at his brilliant plan. An unhurt Wolfram equates a Yuuri with a head--just like those stupid analogy questions on tests that he hates so much. Plus, he really doesn’t want to upset Wolfram, especially since they have been getting along…slightly…better…the last few months._

_“Love isn’t a game of chicken, Shibuya,” Murata warns, his easy-going demeanor replaced with a more serious one. “But I guess you’ll have to find that out for yourself.”_

_“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Yuuri dismisses, placing his baseball cap over the crown of his head and twisting it to the right level of his eyes. All Yuuri wants to do now is get to his baseball game; he doesn’t want another lecture about Shin Makoku. The way he figures, everything will work itself out eventually._


	13. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even if your hands are shaking,  
> And your faith is broken.  
> Even as the eyes are closing,  
> Do it with a heart wide open.  
> Say what you need to say. 
> 
> -“Say” John Mayer

Yuuri bites back a yawn as he glances at another document that goes into great detail on the new agreement between Dai Shimaron and Shin Makoku. This particular paper is going over the new coordinates of the borders and Yuuri allows himself the pleasure of rolling his eyes at such an absurdity. The new line is in the middle of the ocean--anchor a buoy or something to the spot. He doesn’t understand why whole maps must be rewritten because he gave Dai Shimaron some extra fish.

A voice very much like Gwendal’s assaults his thoughts, grumbling about how there wouldn’t be so much paperwork if he wasn’t such an idiot. Maybe he is even channeling Gwendal’s inner voice at this late hour--Annisina was getting clever with her inventions. The tone certainly matched the glare Gwendal had given him when the senior advisor learned that his Maou had given some territory in exchange for a renewal of the peace agreement.

Despite any sort of disagreement his advisors may harbor, Yuuri feels he has made the correct decision: The loss is a small one in comparison to keeping the peace for as long as possible. He can endure being mocked by the leaders of other countries if it means he can avoid a war. Not to mention he feels his veiled threat to the king that he will personally remove obstacles on the road to peace in the future will hopefully deter problems for a long while. So long as Shin Makoku flourished with trade and goods, he is sure he can keep many out of harm’s way. Perhaps it was not a smart move in long-term diplomacy, but hopefully by the time it matters a smarter person than he would be in charge.  
He signs the coordinate agreement and allows the yawn to escape this time. Yes, a smarter Maou, one that doesn’t run from such difficult decisions, would be a good thing. Especially one that doesn’t avoid his own bedroom because he doesn’t want to face his fiancée of ten years. It was three days since his return from Dai Shimaron and he had spent every moment short of a bathroom break within his study walls. The additional paperwork and the fact that he needs to do a little bit of catching up (because there were certain things even Gwendal could not sign) made for a good albeit temporary excuse. The small sofa serves him well for a few hours each night, but he knows eventually he will have to return to his own room for a longer period than to change clothes. 

Wolfram has been surprisingly absent and quiet during the time, and while Yuuri knows Wolfram understands the responsibility the Maou has to his work, he also knows Wolfram has a limit. That being said, the continued lack of interruption is more frightening than any outburst he has encountered.

As though summoned, Wolfram enters the room then, donning a pair of light green pajamas that accents his green eyes beautifully. His face is firm, but not blazing with anger, the latter observation relieving Yuuri some though not enough to continue his normal breathing pattern. The blonde man comes to the front of the Maou’s desk, and not for the first time Yuuri can appreciate the fact that Wolfram is related to Shinou through two separate blood relations. Aged in the last ten years, he is the image of the ancient deity standing there. But the eyes and expression always give it away--wipe away the smugness that created Shinou’s expressions and you are left with Wolfram, a face that shines with insecurity no matter what his temperament. How could such a beautiful and emotional person come to love an idiot like him? He never has figured it out. The only thing he does know is he is not ready to face Wolfram yet. He may never be ready.

“I’ve removed most of my things, so you can return to your room now.”

Now Yuuri is really not breathing. He stares at him, waiting for more explanation. When it seems apparent that no more will be given, he manages to let out a noise that somehow sounds like it forms a question.

Wolfram is grinding the back of his teeth, a habit of his when he is trying to keep his temper in check. “Don’t make me repeat myself.”

He continues to grind and Yuuri continues to stare. Yozak’s words ring in Yuuri ear, in his head, throughout the room. _Everyone knows_. Even Wolfram knows.

“Just because you are an idiot doesn’t mean the rest of us are,” Wolfram adds, as though the situation needs any clarification. He stands there, expecting something, and Yuuri sits there expecting something, and they keep staring at each other. 

Yuuri knows this is when he is supposed to come clean and clear the air. Wolfram has given him his exit on a golden platter, all he needs to do is get to the words, some string of words, out of his throat and into the air. But this isn’t a movie or a storybook with poetic apologies and righteous reasoning, and Yuuri is the furthest thing from a hero. 

“I don’t know what to say,” he admits his defeat with his eyes downcast and his voice cracking. ‘I’m sorry’ is the most fitting and yet the least appropriate thing to say, so he allows the words to repeat unending only in his mind.

“Well say _something_ ,” is the harsh reply, closer to the Wolfram that he knows but still too reserved to even pretend things are normal. He has the presence of mind to finally stand up from his chair and in a move that would be laughable at any other time, climbs onto the desk and sits on the edge facing Wolfram. Though silent, Yuuri can feel the weight of accusations from Wolfram, long-time endearments turned cold in their truthfulness.

_Wimp. Cheater._

“If you knew, why did you wait? Why now?” Yuuri finally looks up to find Wolfram’s face contorted into a myriad of expressions: rage, sorrow, betrayal and disbelief weaved through his light features, from the tension in the space between his brows to the sharp line of his mouth. He watches as Wolfram leans forward, sure that he is about to be struck. Instead, the other man places his arms at either side of Yuuri so both of their palms are gripping the edge of the desk but not touching. His gaze shifts, still exposing some hurt but anger slowly being replaced with pure assuredness and honesty.

“Because I’ve given you everything. I was hoping for at least your honesty in return. But you’ve chosen to run away by any means possible.”

It is this truth that Yuuri has dreaded and is now faced with his failure. This was what his avoidance has cost all of them. Satisfied with his own truth, Wolfram pulls back to his full height. 

And still, Yuuri cannot utter the words necessary. It seems a greater kindness to leave them unspoken, whether Wolfram says he wants honesty or not. Knowing the truth and hearing the truth are two matters entirely, and Yuuri would rather remain the person at fault and despised than the person who uses his words to hurt out of his own selfishness. 

Wolfram eventually leaves, and Yuuri hopes his now ex-fiancé loathes him just enough for the anger to remain focused but not enough to leave. When the door finally closes, he stares at the vacant spot where only an aura remains.

“I love you, but I’m in love with Conrad. Please don’t leave.”

The words, finally out but met with empty air, fall to waste.


	14. Yuuri on Having a Bedmate [FLASHBACK]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place during Yuuri’s first week in Shin Makoku.

_“Wolfram, you’re on my side of the bed again.”_

_The young king’s only response from his bedmate is a few incoherent mutterings and then the very loud snores that he is just starting to get used to._

_His first few days in Shin Makoku have been eventful to say the least. He has been carried in the sky by a flying skeleton, told he was not only a king but a demon, gotten himself engaged and in a duel which somehow showed he had some kind of awesome power. Too bad he had been asleep during that last part._

_On top of all of that, his fiancé is the worst bed partner he has ever encountered. And he had dealt with a lot of bad bed partners during baseball camps in his youth. But **this guy** prances into his room—in a ridiculous pink nightgown no less—and demands half of his bed when he really means the whole bed! It is beyond frustrating, and it is keeping him up at night._

_He is probably never going to get to sleep while staying in this place._


	15. Space and The Passage of Time

The days that follow Wolfram’s departure are longs ones, both in the agony of silence and space. Yuuri returns to his room--yes, only his room now--to find it bare of all things but his own, and the space makes the room look even larger. The space of an entire empty bed is too much to bear, and on the second night Yuuri gathers the pillows from every vacant room in his wing of the castle and dumps them on the bed with him. The fluffy companions do not thrash at him in the middle of the night, but they serve their purpose well enough, and he is finally, mercifully, allowed a few hours of rest.

Once renewed, the next day is used to gauge the attitudes of his staff. They greet him warmly but are quick to find something else to do, a mixture of relief that the building tension has finally broken and an apprehension for what may come. He learns, with relief, that Wolfram has not left the castle, although the man ends up being as good at ensuring he does not meet up with Yuuri as he used to be in ensuring he was always there. Yuuri does not seek him out.

He spends that day and the next feeling that everyone is avoiding him and knowing that for once that feeling is accurate. His loneliness creeps up on him by mid-day and he is tempted to seek out Conrad, but then thinks better of it. It is much too soon to even see the older man. His self-inflicted punishment continues, with only the pillows for company.

On the fifth day, he intercepts Greta on her way to sword practice. She is as all children are, a little hurt and angry with what has happened. But she loves her father and tells him so, even if he is very silly at times. He sends her off to sword practice with a kiss and a slightly unsure smile that she returns willingly. It is the first time he acknowledges that Wolfram aside, he probably has a long way to go to gain back normalcy in his life…or however close he may be able to get to that with such a large piece missing.

The week rolls out with everyone else returning to normal around him. Wolfram’s spot is lost in the advisor rotation, and he sees Gunter twice as much during the week. Gwendal suggests he go finish his vacation, which makes him laugh at the absurdity of who such a suggestion is coming from. Conrad shows on his days as usual, but the time is all formality and work, each “Your Majesty” a stab to his gut that he knows he deserves. He doesn’t know what Conrad is thinking, but he knows now is not the time to ask. So he leaves it be, focusing on his work in a way that would make his advisors leap for joy under any other circumstance. 

The second week passes. The third.

One evening and with only twelve pillows remaining, Yuuri sheds his royal clothes and changes into one of the outfits Conrad had picked out for him. He walks down the familiar halls of his castle, his feet carrying him where he has wanted to go for comfort his very first night alone and every night following.

He knocks, then enters before waiting for a response. Conrad is sitting at the desk he has in his bedroom, a small pile of papers sitting in front of him. Any other day a complaint would have left Yuuri’s mouth to tell the older man that he shouldn’t be working so late at night, but he remains silent on the matter, a bit relieved that he does not have to see Conrad in bed. His resolve still intact, he walks into the room in a similar fashion to Wolfram’s weeks before. He comes closer until he is on the same side of the desk as the soldier, standing beside him. Conrad is, as always, calm and patient while waiting to see what it is that Yuuri has come to say to him. But that façade slips ever so slightly with a widening of his eyes when Yuuri, the Maou of the country and king of the very castle they reside in, kneels on the floor in front of him and places his hands on Conrad’s knees.

“Conrad,” he begins, ignoring the slight wavering in his own voice. “I’m so sorry. I—I need some time.” He swallows and looks down at the hand on Conrad’s knee. Conrad hasn’t moved, hasn’t made a sound just yet, as though he knows even better than Yuuri of what is to come next. Yuuri looks up again, ready to face whatever answer may come with his question. 

“Will you wait for me?”

He has been selfish. He has made Conrad wait, and here he was, asking for him to wait again. But Conrad nods and smiles, ever loyal, ever loving.


	16. Conrad [FLASHBACK]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first and only section not from Yuuri's POV.

_Yuuri is here, finally, and the next task is to introduce the king to his castle and court. It will, in many ways, be more difficult than finding him had been, or explaining that he was a demon king._

_As the castle comes into view, Conrad can feel his new king grip his waist a little tighter in anticipation. Gunter has just suggested that Yuuri should enter the castle gate on his own horse to make a good impression, and that somehow seems to be the statement that triggers Yuuri’s nerves._

_‘Wake up now, wake up!’ He swears he can almost hear Yuuri’s thoughts in his own head, the fingers clutching to his uniform jacket serving as some sort of connection between them._

_“There’s nothing to fear, Your Majesty,” he assures, glancing back at the black hair leaning close. Black, uncertain eyes look up at him, and his lips part in surprise as he recognizes the same look Yuuri had given him last night._

_**‘Have we met before?’** _

_“You’ll be close by?” Yuuri asks this time, and Conrad is grateful that it is a question he can answer truthfully._

_“I’ll be beside you the whole time,” he promises._

_“Okay.”_

_Perhaps it is only his imagination, but Conrad wants to believe that tight grip relaxes, just a bit._


	17. Absolution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes at the end.

For some reason, Shibuya Yuuri completely believed when he made such a selfish request of his former charge, that there would be a moment, like in every movie he’s ever seen, where he would know it was the right time.

But as the days stretch into weeks and the weeks into months, all he feels is miserable and weary. And that’s sort of what he wants to feel, because nothing short of that helps nurse the guilt that runs through him. He just wonders when all of that will go away so that he can air out the stagnant feelings surrounding him and carry on with his life.

A heavy sigh lifts into the room as he gazes out onto the grounds that are overrun with white. Somewhere on the other side of the castle, Wolfram, Greta and a few others are monitoring (and probably joining in on) a snowball fight for the younger children of the castle and some young visitors. Greta had been enthusiastic about his coming as well, but he had begged off the invitation in exchange for paperwork—paperwork he has been ignoring for the greater part of an hour.

A knock at his door startles him, and he turns around in time to see Conrad inviting himself in. He’s out of uniform, wearing instead one of his older outfits, and Yuuri notes that he looks a little damp around his jacket. He is also wearing the strangest expression, and Yuuri masks his initial concern for what he hopes is a cheery welcome.

“By the looks of your clothes, I guess everyone is having fun,” he smiles, but it falters when Conrad’s expression doesn’t change.

“Not everyone. You should be there, too.” 

Yuuri is shaking his head before the sentence is even finished, and Conrad walks over and takes a firm hold of Yuuri’s arm. Instead of pulling him toward the door as Yuuri thinks, they remain like that, Conrad’s gaze staring through him in a way that makes him want to turn away.

“I…Conrad?” He does not pull back, but his eyes are questioning, his posture stiff.

“My job has always been to protect you, even from yourself. I’m sorry that I haven’t been doing that, Yuuri,” is the answer he is given, and Yuuri’s eyes widen in recognition of his name rather than his title coming from Conrad’s mouth willingly, unprompted. And then Conrad is smiling, but it is different from the usual smiles he offers to Yuuri. It is quiet and expectant, strained around the edges. 

Yuuri doesn’t want to talk about jobs or obligations or what Conrad feels he must do. “That’s not what I want,” he moans in his palm as he runs it down his face. “I don’t want that at all.”

“Then what is it that you want?”

“Shouldn’t that be my question? You’re the one that came here,” Yuuri replies as he shakes his head, trying to rid himself of the noise pulsating in his ears. But Conrad only steps closer, and Yuuri feels as though the air is leaving him and the area surrounding him as he is assaulted with Conrad’s presence.

“Yuuri, what do you want?” Conrad asks again, and Yuuri knows what he is really asking is, _‘What are you waiting for?’_

Yuuri has always thought the answers to these two questions were as different as the world he came from and the world he rules. But the truth slips off of his tongue quietly to release them from all the lines and boundaries they have drawn for each other. 

“Just you.”

The contact that follows is not so much a hug or a kiss, but a consumption of each other.

\--------

Yuuri never joins the others outside, and Conrad doesn’t seem to care as he tucks his nose against the other’s hairline. That which is most important to them is in the room the reside in, but even more important are the things that have been discarded: Yuuri’s title seems to have fallen away from Conrad’s vocabulary and with it Yuuri’s drive to maintain his misery, both tucked in some snow bank not to be retrieved again.

“A snowball fight made you decide to come up and get me?” Yuuri asks half-jokingly. He shifts in the unfamiliar sheets of Conrad’s bed to get a better look at his lover, comforted by the things in the room that are both familiar and not. The space holds no memories for him other than the ones they have newly created, and he’d like to keep to that arrangement.

He recognizes Conrad’s smile this time: this one is secretive, and he knows that he won’t get the whole story. 

“Hmm…something like that. My brother has become very wise in his old age,” is what is offered instead, and Yuuri doesn’t urge for him to elaborate. This, just as it is, is enough for him right now.

\--------

****  


_Some days later_

  


 

News usually travels at the speed of light at Blood Pledge Castle, so when Yuuri finally hears that Wolfram is leaving the castle that very day, he feels there must be a conspiracy; Surely Wolfram didn’t make such a decision so quickly. There was too much to do, to plan, for a departure to happen in such a short span of time.  
He is then sure there is a conspiracy against him after it takes him nearly an hour to find out Wolfram’s whereabouts. Awkwardness and anger be damned, Yuuri scurries around his castle looking for the blond in order to make him stay. 

He’s a little startled to see Wolfram after such a long span of time. He notices the man’s hair has been trimmed shorter than he has ever recalled seeing it, and the traveling clothes he wears are all new to his eyes. The new gloves he wears are reaching out for the door of the carriage, and Yuuri shouts out his name to make him stop. 

Wolfram turns, looking confused but not much else, as he watches Yuuri run down the stairs to meet him.

“You’re leaving,” Yuuri states while trying to reclaim his breath. 

Now Wolfram is looking at him as though he has lost his mind. “I am,” he replies, as though the carriage and the traveling clothes didn’t say it loudly enough.

“But—you can’t just leave! Especially not now. What about Greta? My mother used to watch these shows where they had children on with all sorts of problems due to separation. Drug abuse and running away and other unmentionable--”

“Yuuri,” Wolfram interrupts him, and his name coming from Wolfram’s mouth gives him pause. “I’ll be returning in a month. Surely you can look after Greta for such a short amount of time.”

A month…?

“Wolfram has been asked to oversee some of his young nephew’s sword training at the Bielefeld residence,” a voice supplies, and then a familiar head peaks out from the other side of the carriage to match the voice. Yuuri tries his best to hide his surprise at seeing Conrad helping prep the carriage for the trip. The two brothers exchange words about supplies as though nothing has changed between them at all.

Perhaps nothing has.

The Maou decides then and there that there is a serious lack of reliable gossip circulating around his castle. How could he have not known that? And how could someone have left out that Wolfram’s leave was temporary?

“You’re coming back?” He believes both of them, but he needs confirmation before he can allow himself the luxury of relief.

“Didn’t you just hear me, Wimp? I’ll be home in a month.”

_Wimp. Home._ Okay.

He’s rubbing at his eyes in relief before he can stop himself, his eye ducts turning into traitors as they fill and threaten to spill. Then there’s suddenly a light impact against his face, and the remnants of a snowball are sliding down his cheeks to hide anything that may have fallen from his eyes.

Wolfram’s smirk holds nothing but satisfaction as he shakes the excess water from his hand and then opens the door of the carriage to take his leave.

“The next time there’s a snowball fight with the kids, you had better come. Greta was disappointed.” There’s a threat laced within Wolfram’s words, but Yuuri senses that the promise is nothing more than a few more snowballs to his face during the future fight. 

“I’ll be there,” he agrees despite the inevitable fate that will likely follow such an event. It’s a battle he doesn’t mind losing in the face of such progress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My objective when starting this piece was to write a Conrad/Yuuri story that also did Wolfram and his feelings justice. I’m not sure if that is what I did, but I am happy with it overall. I felt it was appropriate that Wolfram get the final say in this story, even if everything is not cleanly tied up between him and Yuuri. The ending is, I think, open-ended, but I’d like to be an optimist and believe that time really does heal all wounds.


End file.
